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It is hard to know why we are here. Many people try to find real meaning in their short lives. It is easy to just follow ideas from family, but a quiet moment can bring something amazing. You might sit in a garden or read a book. Suddenly, you feel a deep connection to life. You see a clear purpose for the first time. This feeling is exciting but also a little scary. Then the feeling fades, and you go back to normal. The big task is to stay awake to that deep part. This part already knows the truth about being alive. It waits for you to notice it again.
A century ago, a writer named Evelyn Underhill explored this deep awakening. She wrote a book called Practical Mysticism. Underhill was an English writer and a peace activist. She was born in 1875. In her book, she explains what a mystical experience is. She believed it was not only for religious people; she thought this experience was a natural part of being human. She writes about how we can truly know reality. This knowing includes a deep and subtle truth.
It always starts with a sudden moment. You realize that many things you work hard for are not permanent. You see clearly the silliness of chasing things that will not last. You face a shocking truth about the muddle in your mind. Underhill writes about how hard it is to change. She says your old habits are like a game you have played for a long time. It is hard to stop playing that game. You need a major change in your character. Mystics call this stage Purgation. It means cleaning out the old ways to make room for new truth.
It is not merely that your intellect has assimilated a superficial view. Your will and your desire have been turned the wrong way. Habit has you in its chains. You are not free.
This inner tension can build up for years. It grows until you cannot ignore it. The high point of this fight inside is often called a mid-life crisis. Underhill describes the moment when everything seems to fall apart. She says this breakdown is necessary for a real breakthrough. Your surface self has grown strong over time. It has cemented itself like a limpet to a rock, building a hard shell of fixed ideas. You must detach this old self by force.
The old, comfortable life must come to an end. A conflict is inevitable. You must cut off old habits and old notions. A decision about your new life must be made. The chief ingredients are courage, singleness of heart, and self-control. Through diligent self-discipline, you will find perfect freedom. She uses a powerful image of climbing a mountain of self-knowledge. As you go up, you throw away your extra baggage. You shall arrive at the summit of the spirit.
The various forces of your character become one. They are gathered into a strong instrument. Your true self can then force a path deeper into Reality. Through this hard work, you simplify your complicated personality. You slowly become free from the chains of an unreal life. By doing this, you finally reach your true self. This self is the agent of all your contacts with Reality. To find yourself, you must dive deep below all the flowing appearance. This is the busy, unstable consciousness with its moods. You must go past what psychologists mistake for You.
Only then can you discover your inmost sanctuary. There, you find a being that is strange to your surface mind. Yet, it is continuous with your true life. You may then love again the stranger who was your self. This journey is hard, but it leads to a life of truth. You stop living for the world and start living for your soul. The path is clear once you begin the climb.