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Two elderly women stand outdoors beside a small dog, both wearing long black riding habits and tall black top hats. One faces slightly toward her companion while the other looks ahead. The image is a nineteenth-century illustration of Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby, known as the Ladies of Llangollen.
historyextra.com
When we think about love between same-sex couples in the past, we often assume it was secret. We imagine people had to hide their feelings to avoid punishment. However, the story of the Ladies of Llangollen shows us that this was not always true. Their lives challenge the common idea that queer history is defined only by secrecy and shame.
Anthony Delaney is an expert on Georgian history. He wrote a book called Queer Georgians: A hidden history of lovers, lawbreakers and homemakers. He explains that people today often struggle to understand same-sex intimacy in the eighteenth century. We might not realize what kinds of love existed or how those couples built their homes together. Delaney told the HistoryExtra podcast that love and homemaking are not words people usually associate with same-sex attraction in that era. Yet, the Ladies of Llangollen prove that such connections were real and visible.
Lady Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby were upper-class Irish women. They grew up near each other in Kilkenny, Ireland. Their friendship began in 1768. At that time, Butler was in her late twenties, and Ponsonby was a young teenager. They shared many interests, including reading, history, philosophy, and long walks. These shared passions brought them closer. They soon decided to escape the strict rules of their society.
Their families wanted them to marry men and live traditional lives. Butler and Ponsonby refused. In 1778, against the strong wishes of their families, the two women fled Ireland together. Butler was thirty-nine years old, and Ponsonby was twenty-three. They settled in north Wales, in a small village called Llangollen. Local people began calling them "the ladies."
As women from wealthy families, they did not have jobs to earn money. Instead, they lived on small allowances sent by friends and reluctant relatives. Delaney points out that their income was much lower than it would have been if they had married men. They were also banned from returning to Kilkenny. Their families told them they could visit, but they must never come back permanently.